I was sitting on the green grass, gently stroking my Phool's head. She was our goat Chanda's daughter, and my best friend in the whole world.

"Akhir aapki Maa toh aapse bahut pyar karti hai na?" I smiled as she bleated in my arms and skipped towards her mother to drink milk. I sat there watching them, longing to be loved like that.

(After all, your mother loves you very much, right?)

"Sanjana!"

I jumped upon hearing my stepfather's stern voice. "Aayi Bau Ji!" I hurried inside to find him and my pregnant Mother in the kitchen, a letter in his hand.

(Coming, father!)

"Kya hua Bau Ji...?" I whispered while standing near the doorway.

(What happened, father?)

"Taiyar rehna. Ladke wale kal aayenge rishta dekhne."

(Be ready. The groom's family will be here tomorrow.

"K-kiska rishta...?" My eyes widened.

(Whose marriage...?)

"Pata nahi kiska rishta?!" He snapped and raised his hand to hit me. I flinched away and closed my eyes. The moment his backhand connected with my cheek, I stumbled towards the door, panting. The pain was bearable because I had borne it for too long.

(You don't know whose?!)

"Aap sach keh rahe hai? Ek Thakur ki parivar?" Maa asked, completely ignoring me and taking the letter from his hands.

(Are you sure? A Thakur's family?)

"Haan. Dahej bahut hoga par hum is bhoj ko toh nikal sakte hai. Jaati ke hisaab se bhi, ladke ka parivaar santusht lagta hai. Log bhi kuch shak nahi karenge. Hum is ghar bhejenge. Woh gai wagera bhi... Aur paise lekar mere gaon chalte hai."

(Yes. The dowry will be a lot, but at least we can be rid of this burden. The boy's family seems content with the caste as well. Even the villagers won't be suspicious. We'll sell this house... The cattle, too. We can go live in my village with the money.

Tears filled my eyes as I reached forward to clutch my stepfather's hand, "Bau Ji... A-aap... A-aap aaisa math kariye... Humare Baba ka ghar hai yeh. Baba ne bahut mehnat se banwayi hai. Ise aap kaise bej sakte hai? Aur phool toh bahut choti hai... Use toh-"

(Father... Please, don't do this... My papa built this house. He worked so hard for it. How can you sell it? And phool is still very little-)

He pushed me backwards, and I hit my back sharply against the kitchen table, wincing in pain.

"Tumhari kaun puch raha hai? Taiyar reh."

(Nobody's asking your opinion. Just stay ready.)

Maa and Bau Ji left. I hated them with my whole heart as I hugged my knees on the kitchen floor and cried. I didn't mind that I was getting married, even though I was only 13. But these people were going to sell the house that my Father named after me. They were going to sell the cows and goats that he had bought to play with me.

I missed my Father.

Five years ago, he had fallen ill and died. That was the story my present parents told the world. My stepfather used to be my Mother's lover at that time. And they had together devised a plan to poison my father. I was too young to understand it back then.

***

On the day that the groom's family was to arrive, Ma gave me the best sari that she owned and helped me wear it. I had never worn saris before. It had always been worn-out skirts and shirts for me.

"Apna zubaan zyada nahi chalayegi. Jab tumse kuch pucha jayega, tabhi tum jawab dogi, theek hai? Aur zyada chalak banne ka sochna bhi math."

(Don't run your mouth too much. Whenever someone asks you something, respond. And don't try to act smart.)

I nodded at her words. My eyes felt hollow. In the kitchen, I prepared tea and pakoras with care. Eventually, the Thakur's car stopped outside our hut. They even had a driver. I was so stunned that they even considered meeting me, let alone welcoming me as the daughter-in-law of their house. It was so very confusing.

"Namaste, Thakurain Ji... Chote Thakur Saheb, Namaste. Aiye, andar, aiye!" My stepfather was in high spirits as he welcomed them into our home.

(Namaste, Thakurain Ji... Chote Thakur Saheb, Namaste. Come inside!)

The conversation was less. I realised that the groom had come only with his Mother, which was again strange.

"Humare pitaji nahi aa paye. Unko zaroori kaam tha," I heard his voice for the first time. It was definitely not young. In fact, he sounded like a man already. How old could he be?

(My father wasn't able to make it. He had some important business to handle.)

"Sanjana, beta, chai lao," My stepfather said with pretend kindness. I carefully ran a hand over my sari and carried the tray of chai and snacks outside, my gaze as low as possible. There was a firm silence.

(Sanjana, child, bring tea)

I didn't dare to look up at the groom or his Mother. I only saw his hand as he took the glass. Such large hands, I swallowed in fear. His hands were larger than Bau Ji's. If this man were to hit me, I'd fall unconscious. Or even die. There were two beautiful rings on his fingers as well. One was ruby and the other golden.

"Ise andar bhejo," The groom commanded. I froze. Did I do something wrong? Why did he not want me to sit there with them? Did he despise me already?

(Send her inside.)

"Chalo..." Maa dragged me away with a firm grip of her hand and pushed me into the bedroom before closing the door. I pressed my ear to the door, trying my best to hear the conversation.

(Come...)

"Aapne joh khath hamare Pita Ji ko likha tha, usme toh ladki ki umar 18 thi." The man's voice was cold as he asked my stepfather. I gulped.

(In the letter that you sent to my father, the girl's age was mentioned as 18.)

"W-woh... Chote Thakur Ji... 13, 18, ladkiyon ke liye sab ek hi hota hai."

(Th-that... Chote Thakur Ji... 13,18... It's all the same for women.)

"Haan." Ma chimed in, "Thakurain Ji, humari ladki bilkul swasth hai. Iski pavitrata ka aap chinta math kijiye... Aur iska mahine-wari bhi samay par hota hai. Ladki ki umar toh kam honi chahiye, apne pati se. Woh hi riti-rivaz hai humare samaaj mei."

(Yes... Thakurain Ji, our daughter is completely healthy. Don't worry about her virginity... And her monthly cycle is also regular. The girl's age should always be less than that of her husband. That's the custom in our society.)

"Vidyalay jaati hai?" His mother asked.

(Does she go to school?)

"Nahi. Waha jaakar kya karegi? Aur bachpan se dimag se bahut bholi bhaali hai. Kitabon se nafrat hai. Agar ladki padhi likhi ho ti toh aur bhi chinta ki baat hoti, Thakurain Ji."

(No. What will she get by studying? She's been quite innocent since childhood. She hates books as well... If the girl is educated, that's another headache, Thakurain Ji.)

The mother and son were quiet for a while, until the man spoke again.

"Dahej kaise denge aap?"

(And how will you pay the dowry?)

"Hum ghar, gai sab bej denge, Chote Thakur saheb. Aap chinta mat kijiye. Aapke parivar mei agar yeh jaegi, toh usse zyada bhagya kya ho sakta hai!" My Bau Ji laughed.

(We'll sell the house, cattle, everything, Chote Thakur saheb. You don't worry about that. If our daughter marries into your family, then what's a greater blessing than that!)

"Theek hai, ab ladki ko wapas bulao," he commanded again.

(Fine. Call the girl back.)

Ma gave me a warning look as she opened the door and pulled me towards the chairs with a rough grip. I was made to sit down while my cheeks flushed red, and my hands trembled from nervousness.

"Idhar dekho, beta," The Thakurain touched my chin, lifting my gaze to meet her kind face. I almost felt like crying from how sweet her voice sounded. She looked so kind. Just like an angel.

(Look here, dear.)

"Kitna haseen chehra hai... Nazar na lage," she smiled at me.

(How beautiful you are... Touchwood.)

Her son was watching me as well. He didn't say anything. I finally stole a glance at his face. He caught it, and I stared down the next instant.

He was older. Clearly. I could tell that he was in his twenties. But he looked so angry and scary. The thin beard on his face, his well-built body... Everything made my heart race. He was too big.

"Hume yeh rishta manzoor hai," he announced suddenly, without looking away from me. I gulped and clutched my sari tighter. My parents rejoiced and thanked the Thakurs heartily.

(We approve of this marriage.)

"Ek hafte baad shaadi hogi. Zyada shor bheed nahi chahiye. Paas ke mandir mei sirf parivar ke saath."

(The wedding will be in one week. It won't be too noisy. The rituals will happen in a nearby temple with family alone.)

His words were final, and I glanced at the Thakurain. Her surprise was also evident. Soon, I cleared the plates and glasses before heading to the kitchen. The Thakurs had left.