Two Months Later

I stood in front of the calendar hanging in our bedroom and counted the days for the third time. It had been twenty-nine days, no thirty, from the supposed day I was to get my period.

Maybe I had miscalculated. But how could one miscalculate three times?

Yet my hand trembled as I counted the days for the fourth time.

"Malkin...?"

(Madam...?)

One of the maids gently pushed the door open. I asked her to come in, and she placed the glass of warm milk on the table.

"Ji, Amma aapko bula rahi thi..." She fidgeted with her fingers nervously.

(Ji, Amma was asking for you...)

"Mujhe? Kya hua?" I took the glass, but the sudden smell made me turn away and gag.

(Me? What happened?)

The maid watched me with wide eyes, "Thakurain Ji, aap theek hai?" Her voice was laced with concern.

(Thakurain Ji, are you alright?)

"H-haan... Theek hu..." I mumbled. The overwhelming sensation was still present within me.

(Y-yes... I'm fine...)

"Par..." She mumbled, "Aise theesri baar ho rahi hai, Thakurain Ji... Aap pet se toh nahi hai?"

(But... This is the third time it's happening, Thakurain Ji... Could you be pregnant?)

My hand trembled lightly as I took a sip of the milk, "Bekar ki baate mat karo. Dadi ne mujhe kyu bulaya hai?"

(Stop talking nonsense. Why did Dadi ask for me?)

"Maaf kijiye. Unke davai ke baare mei kuch kehne ke liye," she replied. I nodded and agreed to go downstairs in a bit.

(Forgive me. She wanted to ask about her medicines.)

After finishing my milk quickly, I went downstairs to tend to Dadi's needs. She insisted on reading out her prescriptions from the city once more, and I complied. In the end, she even made me braid her hair.

"Bhairav kal wapas aa raha hai na?" she asked.

(Bhairav is returning tomorrow, right?)

"Ji Dadi."

(Yes Dadi.)

His Highness had gone to his friend's village in the afternoon and told me that he'd be back by breakfast tomorrow. She glanced at me over her shoulder, "Tum dono ke beech sab kuch theek toh hai?"

(Is everything going well between you two?)

I hesitated just a little. My cheeks tinted pink, "Ji... Sab... Theek hai..."

(Yes... Everything... is fine.)

She hummed in acknowledgement. I wondered what she had meant though. Over the past few months, I had realised that marriage wasn't something very special. It was normal, mediocre. Living with a strange, boring man became part of my life.

The only time he wasn't boring was when sex was involved. My husband was a magician in bed. A hypnotiser. There hadn't been one erotic experience with him that I didn't enjoy. But as soon as the sparks of that moment ended, he returned to being a plain old control freak.

I could only imagine how much more colorful my life would have been if he were a little romantic. Just a little.

But well, that was saved for an alternate reality, I guess.

Maa came into Dadi's room at that time. Her soft eyes were on me.

"Kya hua Maa Ji?"  I asked.

(What happened, Maa?)

"Sanjana..." She stepped closer, her voice almost hushed, "Aakhri baar mahina kab hua tha?"

(Sanjana... When did you get your period the last time?)

I froze. The maid had told her!

Even Dadi turned to me in amusement. Her old eyes suddenly had a spark in them.

"Um... Maa woh... Do mahine..."

(Um... Actually Maa... Two months...)

Dadi closed her eyes and said a quiet prayer. Her hand caressed my face, and she kissed my forehead.

"Akhirkhaar bhagwan ne meri dua sun li!"

(Finally, god has listened to my prayer!)

Maa chuckled and came forward to cup my face, "Sada suhagan raho beta."

(May you have a long, blessed married life, my dear.)

I was so confused. They were so happy without confirming anything. How did they know for sure that I was pregnant?

"Par... Par sach nahi hai toh...?" I mumbled.

(But... But what if it's not possible...?)

"Kya bakwas kar rahi ho!" Dadi snapped, "Ghar mei nanha mehmaan aane wala hai. Tumhara bacha hone wala hai... Din raat mere pote ke saath chipke rehte ho toh anjaam yahi hoga, na?"

(What are you spouting! Our little guest is coming home. You're going to be a mother... If you stay inseparable from my grandson, isn't this bound to happen?)

My face turned beet red in an instant. Did she think that I had a choice when it came to staying near my husband? He was the kind of man who hadn't allowed me to sleep away from him even during my period.

Maa kept caressing my hair, "Aaj raat hi dai ko bulati hu. Kamre mein jao. Mai Keshav se bolkar aati hu."

(We'll call the midwife tonight itself. Go to your room. I'll go talk to Keshav.)

I returned to the bedroom hesitantly and kept pacing around in nervousness. The maids had only seen my aversion towards certain food items and my vague tiredness when doing simple chores. They didn't know about the countless times I had woken up in the past month just to vomit in the bathroom.

But I had thought it was because of some sickness. Pregnancy hadn't crossed my mind even once.

When the Dai came, she asked me countless questions in the presence of Maa and Dadi. Some of them were far too embarrassing to comprehend.

"Thakur Ji ke saath aapka rishta kaise hai?"

(How is your relationship with the Thakur Ji?)

"Th-theek thaak..." I mumbled.

(It- It's alright...)

Who in their right mind would want to answer that when his mother and grandmother were right there, silently judging me?

After the questions themselves, the Dai confirmed that I was pregnant, but Maa asked her to proceed with the physical examination as well. My heart was racing so much as she inspected my abdomen.

The Dai only smiled, "Mubarak ho Thakurain Ji. Aap Maa banne wali hai!"

(Congratulations, Thakurain Ji. You're going to be a mother!)

I finally let go of the breath I had been holding in. What I dreaded had happened. Both Maa and Dadi were ecstatic. They paid the Dai generously, and Keshav took her back home as it was nearly midnight.

Maa began reciting the countless customs and rituals that I had to perform. Dadi gave me a firm warning that she only wanted a boy, but Maa blinked at me, meaning she didn't worry much about the child's gender... Which was a miracle.

Maybe it was because she had three boys, and she was sick of them.

I couldn't sleep that night at all. Since Bhairav Ji wasn't home, I stayed in Dadi's room. Throughout the night, I kept trying to digest the news.

There was a child inside me. A little fragile seed of love. It could be either a girl or a boy... But I preferred a boy as I didn't want my daughter to go through the same trials as me.

I wondered what Bhairav Ji wanted though. Would he be upset if I couldn't have a son as well? Would he neglect me? I had heard countless stories of women like that.

No, I didn't think my husband was that bad. He behaved like a heartless monster towards both men and women alike. Besides, he had a sense of righteousness about him... Even though he was cruel and wicked, he wouldn't stoop as low as to reprimand me for something I could barely control.

I woke up early as I had to go to the temple with Maa. She was planning on performing the rituals from the very first day.

"Aaj se sehath ka sakt dhyan rakhna hoga, bahu," Maa instructed, "Aur beta hone ke liye thode mantra nivas hai... Maine bhi yeh sab kiya tha. Amma zaroor karvayegi."

(You'll have to take care of your health from today, bahu. And for bearing a son, there are a few chants and customs... I had done it all. Amma will definitely make you do them as well.)

I nodded obediently. But my mind was still racing. Would I be able to be a good mother? Bhairav Ji always said that I behaved like a child. Would he be disappointed?

As we walked back home from the temple, the front gates were wide open, and the tire tracks on the wet mud told me everything I needed to know. Bhairav Ji had returned home.

My husband was leaning back against the Jeep's door, talking with Keshav. The servants had just taken his bag inside.

"Beta tum aa gaye!" Maa beamed at him.

(Beta, you're back!)

Bhairav Ji smiled and bent down to touch her feet for blessings, "Abhi wapas aaya hu, Maa."

(I reached home just now, Maa.)

He eyed me as I stood quietly beside his mother, "Aaj itni subah subah aap mandir kyu gaye...? Hamesha jab Ghar wapas aaya hu, yeh darwaza khol deti hai. Par aaj jaakar iski surat dekhni padi."

(Why did you go to the temple so early today...? Whenever I return home, she opens the door for me. But today I had to see his face.)

He smiled, gesturing at his brother. Keshav raised a brow, "Meri surat mei kya kami hai?"

(What's wrong with my face?)

Maa laughed, "Acha ab andar chalo. Naashta taiyar hoga."

(Okay, let's go inside. Breakfast must be ready.)

I tugged the back of Bhairav Ji's kurta before he could go inside, "Aap nahakar aaye hai, na?"

(You've come after bathing, right?)

He hummed and brushed off some leaves on my veil. I drew a tilak on his forehead and fed some of the offering to him. "Mandir jaane ki koi wajah thi?" He asked me again, "Warna roz shaam ko jaati ho."

(Was there any particular reason to go to the temple? Because you usually go in the evening.)

My cheeks flushed as I muttered and walked ahead, "Aap nahi samjhenge..."

(You won't understand...)

"Batao toh sahi, tabhi samajh paunga." He grabbed my hand, trying to pull me back.

(How will I know if you don't tell me?)

"Aapko koi bimari hai, Bhabhi?" Keshav asked. He was overhearing our conversation anyway, "Kyunki kal raat dai bhi aayi thi... Aur Aaj subah aap Maa ke saath mandir bhi gayi-"

(Are you feeling sick, Bhabhi? Because last night the midwife was here... And in the morning you went to the temple with Maa-)

"Kya?" Bhairav Ji frowned; his grip on my arm tightened. "Dai aayi thi matlab? Tum theek ho?"

(What? Was the midwife here? Are you alright?)

I didn't answer. But he didn't let go of me. Bhairav Ji dragged me inside as he called for his mother. "Kal raat dai kyu aayi thi Maa? Sab theek hai?"

(Why was the midwife here last night? Is everyone fine?)

She glanced at me, "Bataya nahi apne piya se?" Her tone was teasing, and I couldn't bear it anymore. "Ch-chodiye..." I tried to break out of his hold, but he didn't let me.

(Didn't you tell your husband?)

(L-let me go...)

"Ghar mei nanha mehmaan aane wala hai," she smiled.

(We'll be blessed with a little guest soon.)

My husband froze. Keshav was confused though. "Nanha mehman? Woh kaun hai?"

(A little guest? Who's that?)

I used that chance to finally break away from my husband's hold and flee to the kitchen.

"Woh... Pet se hai...?" I heard my husband ask.

(She... She's pregnant...?)

Keshav screamed in the background, "Kya?!"

(What?!)

"Haan beta," Maa cupped his face and kissed his head, "Mubarak ho... Tum baap banne wale ho."

(Yes, beta. Congratulations... You're going to be a father soon.)

My chest was heaving as I leaned back against the kitchen door. What could his reaction be?

I stole a glance from the kitchen doorway. Our eyes met, and he didn't look away. Even from where I stood, I could see the quiet shine in them. It sent a flutter through me.

I dropped my gaze at once, hiding my face in my palms. He made me feel all squeamish inside. I couldn't stop the smile that crept across my lips.

Why was I blushing like this?