Time went by quite slowly. I felt lonely without Maa. There was nothing to do in the haveli besides going to the temple with Dadi and listening to her murmur evening prayers. While I was busy pressing her feet or braiding her hair, she'd tell me the stories from when she was young and married.

Her husband, or Bhairav Ji's grandfather, used to be a heavy smoker. And because of that, Baba had caught asthma at a young age. She told me how lenient my mother-in-law was with me while hers had been awfully terrifying. It was customary for the wife to move to her parents' home right before the child was born, and since she had five children, she got to spend a lot of lovely months there beside her parents.

"Par Bhairav tumhe nahi bhejega. Maine uss ladke ko kabhi kisi se itna lagav rakhte hue nahi dekha," she told me sincerely.

(But Bhairav will never send you away. I've never seen that boy get attached to someone like this.)

I was confused, "Maa ke saath toh woh aise hi hai, Dadi..."

(He's the same with Maa, Dadi...)

"Tum nahi jaanti," she scoffed, "Halanki uski maa use apne bachchon se bhi zyada pyar deti hai, phir bhi bachpan se hi woh hum sab se kaafi door raha hai... haan, apni maa ke saath kam se kam woh thoda naram rehta hai."

(You don't understand... Even though his mother loves him more than her own children, he's been quite distant towards all of us since he was a child... But yes, at least he's a little soft towards his mother.)

It made me quite sad to hear that he had been alone throughout his childhood. We weren't very different in that sense. Maybe that was why he was close to me. Bhairav Ji phoned us from the relative's home that night, but when he did, Keshav told us that he heard Bhargav yelling.

"Yeh apne aap ko kya samajhte hai, Maa?! Khud kisi gawar ladki ko ghar mei laaye aur dusro ke zindagi mei taang adatha hai."

(What does he think of himself, Maa?! He married some uncultured girl by defying everyone, and now he's interfering in others' lives.)

"Bhargav, tameez se baat kiya karo," I heard Bhairav Ji warn him.

(Bhargav, watch your mouth.)

"Waha kya ho raha hai, Maa?" Keshav asked in worry.

(What's happening there, Maa?)

I could hear Maa desperately trying to console the brothers in the background. What could they have argued about? And why was my name dragged into it for no reason?

"Bhairav keh raha tha ki chahe hum rishta maan bhi lein, shaadi ek saal baad hi hogi. Isi wajah se Bhargav naraaz hai..." She sighed before speaking to Bhairav Ji in the background, "Par beta... Ek saal thoda zyada nahi hai...?"

(Bhairav was saying that even if the marriage is fixed, it will happen only after one year. That's why Bhargav is mad...)

(But son... Isn't one year a bit too much...?)

"Samjhawo Maa inhe!" Bhargav yelled again.

(Talk some sense into him, Maa!)

"Jab tak yeh sudhar nahi jaata, koi shaadi nahi hogi. Tumse bada hu, aur ghar ka mukhya hu, isliye baat suna karo," my husband muttered, "Agar tum aise bartaav karte rahoge toh mai dekh lunga ki tumhari shaadi kabhi na ho!"

(Until he reforms himself, nobody is getting married. I'm older than you, and I run the household, so just listen to me... If you keep behaving like this, I'll make sure that you never get married!)

"Bhairav!" Dadi called his name helplessly, and Maa informed us that he had already gone outside. The man was impossible to deal with.

Maa ended the phone call abruptly as she had to reason with her boys. I felt sorry for her. Bhairav Ji could allow Bhargav to do as he pleased... After all, he was nearly twenty-four.

"Samjhawo apne pati ko!" Dadi glared at me next.

(Make your husband understand!)

I was quiet. He didn't even listen to his mother or grandmother; how did she expect him to listen to me?

Besides... the decision to make Bhargav wait a year before marrying was quite reasonable, even though cruel. Only we had witnessed his antics in the city. And he dared to call me uncultured while he was the one behaving like a reckless playboy. Serves him right to wait a year before marrying.

Late into the next night, Bhairav Ji's jeep rumbled in through the haveli gates. Dadi had refused to sleep until all three of them reached home, and as soon as Bhargav saw her, he rushed over and bent down to get her blessings.

"Jeete raho beta... Kaisi hai ladki?"

(Live long, beta... How is the girl?)

"Aap hi dekh lijiye, Dadi!" He grinned and took out his wallet. I was surprised that he had already begun keeping her picture in his wallet.

(See for yourself, Dadi!)

A gasp left Dadi's mouth as she stared at the doe-eyed beauty. Even I was entirely enchanted by her, especially her eyes. They were light grey. I had never seen anyone with eyes as gorgeous as hers.

"Kya baat hai, Bhaiya..." Keshav murmured, his jaw wide open.

(Damn, Bhaiya...)

Bhargav smacked him on the forehead and shut his wallet, "Tumhari honewali Bhabhi hai."

(She's going to be your Bhabhi.)

"Ek saal baad," Bhairav Ji cleared his throat as he got down from the Jeep and talked with his men. I watched my devar's jaw clench as he stormed inside.

(After one year.)

I served water and dinner for everyone. The table was oddly quiet, but I doubted whether my husband cared.

"Tumne khaana khaa li?" He asked me gently.

(Did you eat?)

"Ji, abhi tak nahi..."

(Ji, not yet...)

"Phir taali lekar aao," he instructed.

(Then go bring your plate.)

I sat quietly beside him. Bhargav suddenly made the abrupt announcement that he'd be going back to the city the next day. My husband didn't respond. He was ignorant of everything Bhargav did or said. Maa and Dadi tried to talk him out of it, and somehow convinced him to stay a day longer.

After dinner, I found my husband smoking a cigarette and working at his table. It saddened me a little that he hadn't spoken much. Even though he didn't express much, I realised that maybe he was upset over Bhargav's behaviour.

I massaged his shoulders from behind, "Thakur Ji, itna safar karke thak gaye honge na? Aaj jaldi aaraam kar lijiye. Maine aap ki bahut yaad ki thi."

(Thakur Ji, aren't you tired after traveling for so long? Sleep quickly tonight. I missed you so much.)

He only hummed. I couldn't have that.

My arms hugged his neck from behind, and I nuzzled my face against his scratchy beard, "Aapne yaad nahi ki?"

(Did you not miss me?)

He was clearly annoyed. I heard him click his tongue before pushing my face away, "Bola tha na kaam hai? Phir bhi aise peeche kyu padi ho? Tumhe sona hai toh jaakar so jao. Dimag kha rakhi hai aurat..." He muttered to himself.

(Didn't I say I'm busy? Then why are you after me again? If you feel sleepy, go to sleep. Stop pissing me off, woman...)

How dare he?

And it was fine when he wanted to bother me instead?

I snatched the cigarette out of his hands and brought it dangerously close to my lips before he could grab me.

"Sanjana!" He snapped.

I'd be lying if I said it didn't make me flinch, but I realised if I were to back down now, he'd only overpower me and yell at me more.

"Kyu? Sirf aap pee sakte hai cigarette?"

(Why? Am I not allowed to smoke cigarettes?)

He twisted in the chair to glare at me, "Bawli aurat, woh sehath ke liya acha nahi hai. Tumhe aur bacche ko nuksaan ho sakta hai!"

(You madwoman, it's injurious to health. It can harm you and the baby!)

That scared me a little. I didn't think it was that dangerous to smoke, considering almost all the men did it. "Ph-phir aap kyu karte ho?" I gulped, still trying to hold up my brave act.

(Th-then why do you do it?)

Bhairav Ji clutched his armrest, "Aadmi ko kuch chein chahiye..." He gritted his teeth, "Tujhe maar khaane ki itni shauk hai toh pehle bol deti. Aaj bhuk khatam karunga."

(I need some kind of peace of mind... If you're dying to be slapped, then you should have told me beforehand. I'll make you regret it.)

He got up from the chair. My heart raced. Was he really going to hit me again?

I didn't know what I was thinking as I sprinted towards the balcony. Bhairav Ji grabbed my dupatta, causing it to slip off my shoulders. He still chased after me, and right when I gripped the railing, the burning end of the cigarette stung my palms.

"Aaah!" I cried in agony. Tears streamed down my face uncontrollably.

"Shh... Ro kyu rahi ho?" He muttered from behind me before grabbing my arm. It was impossible to escape now as I was pressed against the railing. I tried to squirm out of his hold, but he didn't let me.

(Shh... Why are you crying?)

"Chup... Bilkul chup... Chup ho jao! Sanjana!" He restrained one of my arms behind me and inspected the burnt one as I continued to cry. He was furious. He'd hit me any second. I didn't want to endure it again.

(Shut... Shut up! Sanjana!)

"Arey rona band karo aurat!" He snapped even louder, making me tremble in fear. How could I not cry when he was yelling like that?

(Stop whining, woman!)

Bhairav Ji exhaled sharply, and before I knew it, his lips were on mine, making my eyes go wide.

"Mm...! Mm... M..."

I automatically gave in. My cries died in his mouth. His lips skillfully fondled mine. A startled moan escaped me when he pulled me even closer. I could feel the goosebumps on my skin just from the way his hand curved around my waist. It was possessive and unforgiving.

"M-malik? Malik? Sab theek hai? Malkin chilla rahi thi..."

(M-Malik? Malik? Is everything alright? The Madam was screaming...)

A few of his men who were standing guard in the courtyard flashed their lamps at us from below. I immediately pushed him off of me and rushed inside. My embarrassment was palpable.

"Woh... Er... Theek hai. Chinta mat karo," Bhairav Ji replied before coming back inside and locking the balcony door. He had narrowed his gaze on me as I sat trembling on the bed.

(She... Er... She's fine. Don't worry.)

"Ah!" I gasped when he easily pushed me down on the mattress and straddled me.

"Apne aap ko kya samajhti ho tum?" He hovered over me.

(What do you think of yourself?)

Both my hands were restrained above my head. What was he going to do...?

When he loosened my wrists just a little, I tried to sit up. But the man squeezed my neck and forced me back down. I couldn't move at all. He inspected my burnt palm casually.

"Mai-"

(I-)

"Bolne ki ijazat di hai?" He glanced at me once before squeezing my throat more firmly. I struggled to breathe in that moment. 

(Did I permit you to talk?)

Bhairav Ji gently blew on my burn, and to my shock, he kissed the spot. His lips lingered there as he glared at me. That cruel look in his eyes made me tear up again.

"Maine tumse pehle bhi kaha hai... agar tum mein apni harkaton ke anjaam ka saamna karne ki himmat nahi hai, toh aisa bartaav mat kiya karo. Kya tum mein itni himmat hai?"

(I've warned you before as well... If you don't have the guts to face the consequences of your actions, don't do things like this. Are you brave enough?)

"Par... Par... A-aapne hi toh kaha tha... Tang karne ke liye... Shaadi ki hai. Maine bhi isliye ki hai."

(But... But... Y-you're the one who said that... You married me just so you could... Annoy me. Even my reasons are the same.)

My husband paused. He had told me that a few years ago. A soft smile spread across his face as he leaned down and kissed my forehead, "Badi himmat dikhati ho, meri gilegri... par tumhare hont aur haath darr se kaanp rahe hain."

(You act so fearless, my little squirrel... But your lips and hands are trembling in fear.)

I swallowed the lump in my throat. Bhairav Ji released his hands that were restraining me before lying down on the bed and pulling me flush against his chest.

"Agar tum mujhse itna darti ho, toh phir aisi harkatein kyun karti ho?"

(If you're so scared of me, then why do you keep doing stuff like this?)

I pouted at him, tears still in my eyes, "Warna aap mere aur kabhi dekhenge bhi nahi."

(Otherwise, you won't even look at me.)

He kissed my ear and nipped my neck softly, "Kaise nahi dekhunga? Tumhare badan ne toh-"

(How will I not? Your body is driving-)

"Aise nahi!" I groaned and turned my face away, red with embarrassment.

(Not like that!)

My husband was entirely clueless as he frowned at me, "Eh? Phir chahti kya ho?"

(Eh? Then what do you want?)

"Hawas se nahi, pyar se dekhiye," I glared at him.

(Not with lust, look at me with love.)

"Kya bakwas karti rehti ho. Chein se kaam kar raha tha," he muttered and was about to leave from my side when I gripped his arm, "J-jaiye math...! Aap h-hawas se dekhna chahte hain toh dekhiye par... Par..."

(What nonsense are you saying. I was working peacefully.)

(P-Please don't go...! If you want... You can look at me with lust... But... But...)

"Par kya?"

(But what?)

"Kabhi toh pyar se dekha kijiye," I whispered to myself and stared down.

(At least sometimes, look at me with love.)

My husband stared at me quietly. It was beyond embarrassing for me to make proclamations like this, and his silence only made it worse. Was it that difficult for him to love me? Despite everything we had been through?

When the tension in the air thickened, Bhairav Ji cleared his throat and got up. He began organising the papers and files on his table. My heart sank when I realised that he'd be going back to work. But when he pushed in the chair and turned off the lights, I didn't understand what he was about to do.

"Aap... Kaam nahi karnewale?"

(Are you... Not going to work?)

He shook his head and unbuttoned his shirt before tossing it on the chair. Bhairav Ji sat beside me and tuned into his favorite radio channel that played age-old romantic Hindi songs. I grew startled when he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me down on the pillow with him.

"Pyaar se kaise dekhte hai? Tum hi sikha do, meri gilehri," he murmured against my neck.

(How do I look at someone with love? Please teach me, my little squirrel.)

I blushed at his words. But it automatically brought a smile to my face.

"Mm... Dheere dheere sikha dungi aapko."

(Mm... I'll teach you over time.)

Bhairav Ji held me tighter. It felt nice to have his hand stroke the bare skin of my stomach. Almost as if he was caressing our little angel as well.