In the months that passed, Sanjana has turned 19!

I stepped out of the shower in a towel. Bhairav Ji was fixing his sleeves in the mirror when I squeezed myself between him and the table.

"Kya kar rahi ho?" He muttered irritably while stepping back as I had stolen his spot.

(What are you doing?)

"Aap itne bade kyu ho? Mujhe aine mei dekhna hai. Aap jab samne khade ho jaate hai, kuch bhi dikhta nahi," I huffed.

(Why are you so big? I need to use the mirror. When you're standing before it, I can't see a thing.)

He raised a brow, and before I could protest, he pressed his hand over my mouth from behind. I tried squirming out of his hold. I tried fighting his arm. But everything was in vain. The man was built like a bull, and I couldn't even push his hand away.

"Jab tumhaara muh band rehta hai, tab kitna sukoon milta hai..." he hummed while combing his hair in the mirror. Everything that I wanted to yell at him came out muffled, but he didn't care. He restrained me like that until he was done combing his hair and beard neatly.

(When your mouth stays shut, it's so peaceful...)

When I finally thought he'd let me go, he pulled my towel, making me gasp. I couldn't even stop it from falling as he restrained both my arms behind me.

"Abhi hath chhod dunga... Par bhagne ki koshish ki toh puri subah aine ke samne kutte ki tarah chodoonga. Chup reh."

(I'll let go of your hands... But if you try running, I'll fuck you like a dog in front of the mirror all morning. Shut up.)

It was a command, and I trembled as he slowly released the hand over my mouth. I was panting as I stared at our reflection. It was so embarrassing to stand naked like this in broad daylight, especially in front of the mirror with my husband right behind me.

His eyes judged every inch of my body. They came up to cup my breasts first, measuring them carefully. Now that I saw myself properly, I felt like they had grown a bit too much. His hand slid down my body, making my breath hitch.

Bhairav Ji held my hips. His hands protectively wrapped themselves over my baby bump. It was a lot larger, after all, I was five months pregnant. Most of the village knew about it by now because, well, it wasn't very easy to hide my chubby body. The strange part was that my stomach was much larger than I expected. Looking at how tall and large my husband was, I knew that the birth wasn't going to be easy. I just hoped not to die.

"Ab se itna bada hai..." I whispered.

(It's too big...)

He hummed, leaning into the crook of my neck and pressing a kiss, "8 mahine baad god bharai hogi... Aur uske baad hum sheher jayenge. Bacha wahi aspatal mei paida hoga."

(At the end of eight months, the baby shower will happen. We'll go to the city after that. The child will be born in the hospital there.)

I blinked at him in surprise, "A-aspatal...? Maine socha daima-"

(The hospital...? But I thought the midwife-)

"Mera bacha aspatal mein paida honge. Is haveli mein nahi. Anubhavi doctors honge waha... Woh tumhare dekh rekh karenge."

(My child will be born in the hospital, not in this haveli. There will be experieneced doctors there who'll take care of you.)

I gulped. Including Maa, almost all the women had given birth in the village itself, in their homes under the supervision of the midwife. What was the need to go to the hospital?

"Dadi aur Maa-"

(But Dadi and Maa-)

"Mai samjhaunga," he said with a tone of finality. "Tumhe kuch nahi hone dunge, Sanjana. Mujhse bura koi nahi hai is duniya mei- jaise tum kehti ho- par tumhara jaan kabhi khatre mein nahi dalunga, meri gilehri."

(I'll make them understand. I won't let anything happen to you, Sanjana. I might be an asshole, as you say, but I won't risk your life, my dear.)

His words made me a puddle of tears in an instant. I hugged his chest and began crying. Sometimes I didn't know how I could love him more than I did now. My emotions were all over the place after becoming pregnant.

"Kuch der aur agar tumhe nanga dekhna pade toh... Nateeja janti ho na?"

(If I have to see you naked for a moment longer... You know what will happen right?)

I froze and looked up to glare at his stoic face, "Aap mujhe kabhi samajh nahi aaoge! Achi achi baate karte hai aur turant sab barbaad bhi karte hai! Kyu aise-"

(I'll never understand you! You say such sweeth things, but the very next moment you ruin everything! Why-)

He bent down to pick up my towel, his eyes still cold and dark, "Zubaan chalana kam karo aur jaakar kapde pehen lo."

(Stop running your mouth and go put on some clothes.)

My cheeks turned red as I glared at him. I snatched the towel out of his hands and changed into my sari. After breakfast, Bhairav Ji left for work. Saarang was still eating, kicking his feet under the table as I sat next to him, watching him eat.

"Didi..."

He began slowly, and I hummed.

"Sonu kal se school jaa raha hai... Mai kab school jaunga?"

(Sonu is going to school from tomorrow... When will I get to go?)

His young eyes were twinkling with innocence. I took a deep breath. If I had money of my own, I would have sent him to school. In the past few months, I knew that Saarang was learning to the best of his ability but... It wasn't the same as going to school and learning with friends.

The only person I could ask was Bhairav Ji.

Even though Keshav adored Saarang, I knew that he couldn't do any materialistic help except getting him clothes. My husband was my last resort. I'd have to catch him in a good mood before asking him anything though.

"Shayad agle saal... Mujhe tumhare Jija Ji se puchna hoga."

(Maybe next year... I'll have to ask your Jija Ji.)

His little shoulders slumped a little as he ate his meal quietly, "Jija Ji manenge?"

(Will Jija Ji agree?)

I sighed. That man was a brute. It would take ages to convince him. And with the state I was in, I didn't have the tolerance to fight him.

"Jija Ji ah... Bhagwan jaane," I shrugged. After eating, I made him do his sums and made him read one of Keshav's easier books.

(God knows...)

"Itna sab kyu padhna hota hai, Didi?" Saarang mumbled under his breath.

(Why do I have to study so much, Didi?)

"Bada aadmi banna hai na?" I ruffled his hair.

(You want to become a big man right?)

He looked at me, "Aapko itna kuch pata hai toh aap bade aadmi kyu nahi bane didi?"

(If you know so much, then why haven't you become a big man yet, Didi?)

I paused. His question dug a hole inside me. It dug a hole in my pride. I had consistently scored the highest in my class, and I kept telling myself that I did it because my husband's reputation was at stake.

But it was never about that.

It was always about pride. About proving myself competent when given the chance, even though I always complained about it.

That one question by Saarang was enough to wound me again.

"Thakurain Ji," One of the servants came up to me, his head lowered. I frowned, "Kya hua?"

(What happened?)

"Jagdish Babu aaye hai biwi ke saath."

(Jagdish Babu has come with his wife.)

I was quite surprised to hear that. Jagdish had never brought Payal over; in fact, I believed that she did not want to cross paths with Bhairav Ji or me at all.

"Jaake Keshav ko bulao. Mai Maa se bolti hu," I told him while fixing my veil better.

(Go fetch Keshav. I'll go speak with Maa,)

Maa was thrilled to have Jagdish and Payal over. They sat on the couch beside us, and her veil covered most of her face.

"Do mahine beeth chuke hai shaadi ke... Kabhi is raaste aaye hi nahi, beta!" Maa remarked in pretend fury. Jagdish smiled at her, "Bua Ji, aap jaante ho... College mei itne pareeksha the. Isliye toh Mai nahi aa paaya aapse milne."

(It's been two months since your wedding... You've never even come to meet us, son!)

(Aunty, you know how hectic college is. That's why I couldn't come here at all.)

"Aur biwi ko bhi chupakar rakh liya?" Dadi questioned as I sat down beside her.

(And you've kept your wife hidden as well?)

Payal shifted uncomfortably in her seat, and I watched her closely. Her cold shoulder was really starting to annoy me. I understood what she felt for Bhairav Ji, but... I had no part in it. She didn't have to give me the cold shoulder as well.

"Kaha se aa rahe ho?" Keshav asked before turning to me, "Bhabhi, aap thoda paani laa sakti hai?"

(Where are you guys coming from? Bhabhi, can you get me come water?)

"Abhi layi," I smiled politely at the guests and got up slowly to go to the kitchen.

(Give me a minute)

"Baithi kya ho? Jaakar madad karo," I heard Jagdish tell Payal. She remained quiet as she followed me into the kitchen.

(Why are you sitting? Go help her.)

I instructed the maids to serve the guests some water first. They were already busy preparing the chai and snacks.

"Mere liye bhi, ek glass..." I mumbled, panting just from walking from the couch to the kitchen. One of the maids nodded and was about to bring it to me when Payal took the glass from her, "Idhar lao... Lijiye, Thakurain Ji."

(Give me a glass as well.)

(Here, take it, Thakurain Ji.)

I was a bit taken aback by her sudden kindness. It didn't seem like she had added anything to the drink; the maid had given it to her right in front of me. Payal leaned back on the counter, watching me take a sip.

"Aise ghoorte hi rahoge?" I asked finally, glancing at her.

(Are you going to keep staring at me like this?)

She revealed her face a little better. Only sixteen, yet her eyes held hidden disgust for me. The maids left us alone to serve everyone in the living room

"Zyada ghurungi toh aap Thakur Ji se bolkar mujhe bhi maar daloge?" She clenched her fist.

(If I stare at you longer, will you tell Thakur Ji and have me killed as well?)

My lips parted in surprise. I was right about her all along!

"Kya chahiye tumhe?" I glared.

(What do you want?)

She crossed her arms, glaring right back, "Aap logon ke karan meri shaadi us... Us..." She took a deep breath to calm herself, "Us kutte ke saath hui. Is zamane mei ladkiyon ko koi bhi khush nahi dekh sakta."

(Because of you people... I had to marry that dog. Nobody wants to see girls happy in this generation.)

I gave her a sarcastic scoff, "Swagat ho asli duniya mei. Ab bhi bahut choti ho... Udaas hone ke liye bahut saari cheeze baaki hai."

(Welcome to the real world. You're still young... There are a lot more things to get upset over.)

"Mai aapke jaisa nahi banne wali," she told me right away, and I cocked a brow, "Kya matlab hai tumhara?"

(I'm not going to be like you.)

(What do you mean?)

"Maine suna hai unse... Keshav, aap, woh... Sab school mei ek saath the... Aur aapke number saare ladko se bhi behtar the, phir bhi aapne sab chod diya aur ab sabhi aapko Thakur Ji ke karan hi jaante hai... Sahi kaha na?"

(I heard that you, Keshav, my husband... Everyone used to be together in school... And your grades were better than even the boys. But you left everything behind, and now people only know you because of Thakur Ji.)

I clenched my fist, muttering through gritted teeth, "Tumhari itni himmat... Jaanti ho kis se baat kar rahi hai?"

(Your audacity... Who do you think you're talking to?)

"Mujhe pharak nahi padta..." She looked away. Her eyes were hollow for some reason. But then, I saw the bruises on her neck.

(I don't care...)

"Yeh... Yeh kya hai...?" I asked in surprise, touching her neck softly. She flinched away, suddenly tears in her eyes, "Unhone ki hai... Ek hafta beet gaya hai par phir bhi dard hai."

(What... What are these...?)

(He did it... One week has passed, but it still hurts.)

I gulped, suddenly feeling sympathetic for her. My hand involuntarily gripped hers, and she glanced at me. There was so much hurt in her eyes that I was scared she'd do something foolish.

"Sab kehte hai ki Thakur Ji aapse bahut pyar karte hai..." She whispered, "Mai bhi chahti hu, koi humse pyar kare."

(Everyone says that Thakur Ji loves you very much... Even I want someone to love me.)

Her words broke my heart. A few tears slipped down her face, and I tried dabbing her cheeks with my pallu, "Ro math, Payal..." I whispered. I didn't know how to comfort her. She seemed so broken.

(Don't cry, Payal...)

"Chodiye," she pushed my hand away weakly, her defeated gaze fixed on the floor, "Mai yaha aapki madad lene ke liye aayi hu."

(Let me go. I came here to ask for a favor.)

"Kis tarah ki madad?" I frowned.

(What kind of favor?)

"Mujhe... Um... Mujhe bache na hone ki davai chahiye."

(I... Um... I want birth control pills.)

I blinked, my eyes wide. What?

"Aapne meri zindagi barbaad ki hai... Aap itna toh kar sakti hai, Thakurain jo hai."

(You've ruined my life... You can do this for me, can't you? You're the Thakurain after all.)

With that, she left the kitchen while I took a moment to digest everything.