Bhairav's POV:

I parked my jeep outside the orphanage under the flickering streetlights. It was around seven in the evening. I wondered what mood Sanjana was in.

In the morning, there had been no reason for her to snap like that. She behaved as though I treated her the worst... only if she'd see herself through my eyes.

I glanced at the parcel in my backseat. It was securely wrapped in a newspaper. They were mango slices layered with chilli powder. My wife had grown quite fond of it in the past few months. If she were still upset with me, food would help greatly.

To my surprise, I couldn't find any kids playing in the courtyard. Could they still be studying? As I neared the classroom, I could hear numbers being said aloud.

"Aur zor se bolo, aapke paas agar theen laddoo hai, aur agar mai aapke liye do aur bana du toh, kitne laddo honge?"

(Be even louder. If you have three laddoos with you and if I make you two more, how many laddoos will you have?)

It was unmistakably Sanjana's voice. I leaned towards the window of the classroom. She was there, her back towards me as she taught the children. Chanda sat at the very back of the classroom. It seemed like she was also trying to learn.

"Panch!" The kids shouted.

(Five!)

"Aap humare liye panch aur laddoo banayegi, Thakurain Ji?" Karan grinned.

(Will you make us five more laddoos, Thakurain Ji?)

The whole class laughed, even Sanjana did. I took a deep breath. She was deathly beautiful when she smiled.

I stood there, admiring her in every aspect possible. Sanjana's cheeks always had a faint shade of pink when she laughed. They resembled lotus petals. The soft chiming of her bangles as she wrote numbers on the blackboard felt like a melody. Occasionally, she'd touch her stomach. I wondered whether she noticed it.

It gave me chills to think that in less than a month, we'd be parents.

Sanjana taught the children even more. Even though it was difficult for her to walk, she taught them while standing. I made a mental note to massage her sore feet tonight.

The children understood math with the clever examples that she presented. It had been the same with Saarang as well. I had noticed her teaching many times before. She was skilled at it for someone who claimed to hate books.

Only if she'd realise it herself.

"Dekho! Thakur Ji aaye hai!" One of the kids shouted, and everyone suddenly pointed at the window, laughing and clapping their hands. Sanjana turned to look at me as well. Her carefree demeanor changed in a blink. She pulled her veil lower, and her smile vanished.

(Look! The Thakur Ji is here!)

Chanda stood up on seeing me, and I went into the classroom at that time.

"Aapki nayi adhyapika ache se padhati hai?" I asked the children, and they all giggled together, "Haan!"

(Is your new teacher teaching you well?)

(Yes!)

Sanjana grew even more flustered, "H-hum chalte hai, Chanda-"

(We- We'll be leaving now, Chanda-)

"Itni jaldi bhi kya hai? Aur der rukna chahti ho toh ruk sakti ho," I tried meeting her eyes, but she refused to look at me entirely.

(There's no hurry. If you want to stay longer, you can.)

"Nahi... Bahut... Bahut der ho rahi hai... Hume chalna hoga," She insisted. I sighed. The woman wouldn't even allow me to make it up to her.

(No... It's... It's really late... We should go.)

The children were very reluctant to let her go. Even Sanjana seemed sad. After talking to Chandrashekhar and his wife, we left the orphanage. Chanda asked Sanjana to visit again, and that almost made my darling cry.

As we sat in the Jeep, Sanjana revealed a cloth pouch that she had hidden in her pallu.

"Maine... Um... Laddoo banaye the," she extended it towards me, "Aapke liye sirf do bacha payi... Bacho ne saari kha li."

(I um... made laddoos. I could only save two for you, though. The children ate everything else.)

I hadn't expected her to think about me after what had happened in the morning, but I was grateful that she did.

"Kaafi hai, meri gilehri. Shukriya."

(It's more than enough, my little squirrel. Thank you.)

She hummed, her eyes still low as I took a laddoo. I leaned back and grabbed the packet that I had gotten for her.

"Tumhare liye bhi kuch laaya hu. Kha lo," I kept it on her lap.

(I've got something for you as well. Have it.)

She opened it and looked at me in disbelief. Maybe she was having the same thoughts I did. The Jeep roared to life as I turned the key. Sanjana ate the mango slices quietly, but I could tell that she was smiling from under her veil.

"Bahut ache log hai," I told her, "Isliye yaha laana chahta tha... Itne bache bhi hai. Mujhe laga tumhe pasand aayega."

(They're good people. That's why I wanted to bring you here... There are many kids here as well, so I thought you'd like it.)

"Aap Saarang ko yaha laana chahte the?" She asked out of the blue.

(Did you want to bring Saarang here as well?)

It wasn't something I wanted to answer. "Haan... Yaha bacho ka ache se dhyan rakhte hai, isliye."

(Yes... They take care of kids well, that's why.)

Sanjana nibbled on a mango piece, "Chanda ne kaha ki aap unki bahut madad karte hai..."

(Chanda told me that you've helped them a lot...)

"Kabhi kabhi paise deta hu. Bacho ke kapde, kitab khareedne ke liye... Zyada kuch nahi," I replied.

(I give them money sometimes to buy books and clothes for the kids... Nothing else.)

She hummed, "Aur Sunita ke bete ko bhi aapne madad ki hai na?"

(And you helped Sunita's son as well, right?)

I eyed her. It didn't make sense that she was asking so many questions, especially those about my work. She had never been that curious.

"Hmm... Woh ladka das saal ka hai. Chai bechta tha, aur Sunita factory mein kaam karti hai. Uska pati roz sharab peekar ghar aata, na khud koi kaam karta, na kisi ko sukoon se jeene deta. Sunita aur bachche, dono par aksar haath uthata tha. Ek baar toh usne gusse mein apne hi bete ki taang tod di. Us din mujhe beech mein padna hi pada.”

(Hmm... That boy is ten years old. He used to sell tea and Sunita works in the factory. Her husband used to get drunk daily and not go to work. He would hit her and the boy often. One time, he broke his son's leg. So I had to get involved.)

"Aapne kya kiya?" She asked, clearly invested.

(What did you do?)

"Maine akele kuch nahi kiya. Paramesh ne bhi madad ki thi... Aur ab Sunita ki pati jail mei hai. Usne apne bete ko bhi vidyalay bejna shuru kiya hai."

(I didn't do anything alone. Paramesh helped me out... And now Sunita's husband is in jail. She began sending her son to school as well.)

She watched me quietly for a long time. "Aap... Sabke liye itna kuch karte ho..." She whispered as I glanced at her, "Aap Saarang ko bhi vidyalay kyu nahi bhejte?"

(You... Do so much for everyone else... Why can't you send Saarang to school as well?)

Sanjana fidgeted with the end of her sari. She was scared that I'd get mad at her. But I was disappointed that she still hadn't realised why I refused to sponsor her brother's education.

"Maine kabhi roka nahi tumhe... Use vidyalay bhejne se."

(I've never stopped you from sending him to school.)

She frowned, "Par... Aapne hi toh..."

(But you're the one who said...)

"Maine bas yeh kaha hai ki mere paiso se use vidyalay nahi bhejunga. Saarang tumhara bhai hai. Agar tumhe uski itni chinta hai toh khud paise kamao aur use vidyalay bhejo."

(I've only said that I won't send him to school with my money. Saarang is your brother. If you're so worried about him, then make your own money and send him to school.)

Sanjana just blinked at me. I knew that she was smart enough to understand what I meant. But maybe she was being ignorant on purpose.

"Mai kaise paisa kama sakti hu, Ji... Aap kya keh rahe hai...?"

(How can I earn money, Ji... What are you saying...?)

"Meri gilehri..." I placed my hand on her head, "Sunita ne kabhi vidyalay hi nahi gai, phir bhi woh paise kama rahi hai. Is duniya mein rozi kamaane ke do hi tareeqe hote hain: ya toh aadmi apna dimaag lagaaye, ya phir apna jism tod kar mehnat kare."

(My little squirrel... Sunita never went to school, but she's making money as well. There are only two ways to make money in this world: Either you have to use your brain well, or you need to work hard physically.)

I brushed my hand down her face and squeezed her chin, "Aur meri Thakurain, mujhe maloom hai aap doosra raasta pasand nahi karti... isliye apna dimag istamal karo."

(And I know my Thakurain doesn't like the latter... So use your brain.)

Sanjana stared down. Her thoughts were racing. "A-aap... Aap k-kehna kya chahte hai..." She mumbled.

(Wh-what... What are you trying to say?)

I stayed quiet. She couldn't expect me to be her backbone at all times. I didn't want her to depend on me for her thoughts or opinions.

"Bhairav Ji..." She clutched my sleeve, "Kahiye na... Aap sach mei mujhe... Um...?"

(Bhairav Ji... Tell me, will you really let me um...?)

"Woh dusra laddoo khilao," I said, changing the topic. Sanjana carefully lifted it to my mouth and held my chin to avoid making a mess. I wasn't going to say anything until she told me what she wanted by herself.

(Feed me the other laddoo.)

My wife fed me slowly and dusted her hands later. She wiped my lips with her pallu as well. Sometimes, the way she offered care without me ever asking for it made me love her even more.

"Aap sach mei chahte hai ki mai kaam karu aur paise kamau...?" Her voice was barely audible, and she was scared to look at my face.

(Do you really want me to work and make money?)

"Log kya kahenge, Ji... Mai kaise...?"

(But what will the people say, Ji... How will I...?)

"Meri patni ho," I muttered irritably, "Tumhara farz hai sirf meri soch aur meri marzi ko pehle rakhna. Samaaj ke baare mei sochne se kya faida? Tumhari zindagi hai."

(You're my wife. It's your responsibility to put my choices and preferences before everything else. Why do you care about society? It's your life.)

I paused, "Agar tumhe apni izzat ka zara bhi ehsaas hai... aur agar tum Saarang se itna pyaar karti ho, use vidyalay bhejna chahti ho... toh tumhe is baat par gaur karna hoga, Sanjana. Duniya jaaye bhaad mein."

(If you have even a little bit of self-respect... And if you love Saarang so much so that you want to send him to school... Then you have to think about this seriously, Sanjana. Let the world go to hell.)

I left her face and held the steering wheel. My eyes were resolute as I watched the road, "Mujhe sabit karke dikhao... kya tum sirf mere naam ka bojh uthane ke liye ho? Sirf mere bachche ki maa ban kar reh jaogi... ya usse zyada bhi kuch ho?"

(Prove yourself to me... Are you here just to carry my name as a burden? Will you just remain as the mother of my children? Or are you capable of something more as well? )

Sanjana remained quiet, and I worried whether she had given up already. I parked the Jeep near our apartment stairs and scoffed, "Bhool jao... Waise bhi tumse koi ummeed nahi thi. Meri parchai bankar rehne ka itna shauk hai... Sirf roti pakaana aur charpai garam karna, bas itni hi aukaat hai tumhari."

(Forget it... Anyway, I have no hope in you. You're so fond of living in my shadow. Cooking meals and warming my bed... That's all you're good for.)

I patted her cheek as though I was asking her to give up on making a name for herself. But in that moment, I saw what I had hoped to see.

A glint in her eyes.

People were most affected whenever their pride was hit. And I had managed to do that.

Sanjana wouldn't forget what I said. I didn't want her to. She could hate me as much as she liked. I wanted her to realise that nothing could be achieved in the real world with love. One always had to torture themselves.

But I knew for a fact that she'd at least try to stand on her two feet. She'd take my words as a challenge and do everything to prove me wrong. After all, she was young. At that age, such words were enough to make her blood run hot.