Cold hands wiped my face. I cracked my eyes open just a little. Bhairav Ji was sitting on the bed next to me in his dhoti. His one hand caressed my hair while the other wiped my face and eyes.

"Kya ho gaya tumhe...?" He mumbled, an edge of concern in his tone.

(What happened to you...?)

He helped me sit up slowly. I had an awful headache, and Bhairav Ji handed me a glass of water.

"Behosh kaise ho gayi?" He whispered.

(How did you fall unconscious?)

I sipped the water quietly. What did he expect if he were to fuck me like a madman while I barely had any sugar in my body?

"S-so gayi thi..."

(I- I fell asleep...)

He crossed his arms, "Tumhe saalo se jaanta hu. Sone aur behosh hone mei antar hota hai. Tumne raat ko kuch khaaya nahi, meri gilehri?"

(I know you well. There's a difference between sleeping and falling unconscious. Did you not eat dinner, my dear?)

Bhairav Ji caressed my face, and the gentleness in his tone made tears prick my eyes. I shook my head a little.

"Dopahar ko kha li?"

(Did you eat lunch?)

I shook my head again. This time, tears rolled down my face. Would he yell at me again when it wasn't my fault?

Bhairav Ji sighed. He pointed at the plate of sweets on the bedside table that I hadn't noticed before. I was sure that it was maybe 2 am. Had he gotten it from the kitchen himself?

"Kha lo, Sanjana."

(Eat, Sanjana.)

I immediately took the plate and bit into a sweet. The relief I felt was unexplainable. Bhairav Ji watched me eat quietly. He wiped my tears with his thumb.

"Dadi bahut gussa mei thi... Maa bhi. Mujhe pata chala ki unhone hi tumhe kamre mei bheja hai par, maine socha nahi ki kisi ne tumhe khaana nahi diya," he sighed.

(Both Maa and Dadi were quite upset. I knew that they were the ones who sent you to the bedroom but I didn't know that they left you hungry.)

"Woh tumse bahut naaraz hai. Aur kuch dino ke liye aise hi bartaav karenge... Maa shayad kal subah hi theek ho jaegi par Dadi ko tum jaanti ho. Aur is baar mai kuch nahi keh sakta kyunki tumne haath uthayi hai..."

(They're really mad at you. It's going to be like this for a few days... Maybe Maa will be back to normal by morning, but you know Dadi. And this time I can't do anything because you raised your hand...)

More tears rolled down my face, "Aap hi bataiye Ji... Kya maine sach mei kuch galat kiya hai? Woh khule mei hamare saath badtameezi kar raha tha. Aur mai sirf-"

(I need you to tell me... Did I really do something wrong? He was humiliating us like that in front of everyone, and I just-)

He cupped my face and pressed a soft kiss on my forehead, "Jaanta hu. Samaaj mei auraton ko dosh dena sabse aasaan kaam hai... Woh bhi jaanta hu. Aise duniya ko badalne mei waqt lagega."

(I know. It's easier to blame women for everything... I know that as well. It will take time for such a world to change.)

When I cried even more, he took the plate in my hand and placed it on the side before inching closer, "Shh... Ro math meri gilehri. Shaant ho jao-"

(Shh... Don't cry, my little squirrel. Calm down-)

I flew into his arms the next instant. Bhairav Ji almost fell back on the bed as I hugged him tight and cried into his chest.

"A-aap maante ho na... M-meri galti nahi hai...?"

(Y-you understand right... It's not my fault, right...?)

He sighed and ran a hand through my hair, "Sanjana, tum galat samajh rahi ho. Mujhe parvah nahi padta ki tum use maro ya na maro... Par tumhe intezar karna chahiye tha. Tum meri patni ho. Tumhe is tarah jaldbaazi mein aisa vyavahaar nahi karna chahiye tha... woh bhi poore gaon ke saamne."

(Sanjana, you don't get it. I don't care if you slapped him or not... But you should have waited. You're my wife. You shouldn't have acted on impulse like that... Especially when the whole village was watching you.)

I stared up at him, my lips trembling.

"Tum abhi bhi bacchi ho... tumhe na duniya ka tareeka samajh aata hai, na un logon ki asliyat ka ehsaas hai. Tumhare is bartav par maine tumhe isliye dand nahi diya, kyunki tum abhi bahut si baaton se anjaan ho."

(You're still a child... You don't understand the reality of this world, nor how dangerous those people are. I didn't get mad at you only because I know how naive you are.)

He took a deep breath, "Lekin aaj ke baad, Sanjana... koi bhi kadam uthane se pehle sochna. Tumhari har faisla sirf tum tak seemit nahi hota. Uska asar tumhare bachhon par, mujh par, is ghar par... aur poore gaon par padta hai."

(But after today, Sanjana... Think before you act. Your every action won't affect you alone. It will affect the kids, it will affect me, and everyone in this haveli as a whole... Even the village.)

I frowned at him, "To phir mujhe chup rehna chahiye tha?"

(So I should have stayed quiet?)

He gave a sharp knock on my head, and I hissed in pain.

"Tumne usse sabke saamne jawab diya, yeh samajhdaari thi. Lekin, agar Baldev ne tumhe uksaya bhi, iska matlab yeh nahi ki tum use poore gaon ke saamne thappad maro. Aise aadmi kisi bhi hadd tak gir sakte hain... unhe kisi paap ka dar nahi hota."

(You gave him a bold reply in front of everyone, that was smart. But even if Baldev taunted you, that doesn't mean you hit him in front of the whole village. A man like him will go to any extent for revenge... He doesn't care about repercussions.)

"Socha hai tumne, agar Paramesh wahan na hota tumhe bachane ke liye, toh kya ho sakta tha? Aur tumhari laparwahi aur anjaanta ki hadh dekho... maine jis aadmi ko tumhari hifazat ke liye bheja tha, usi se chhupkar tumne meri baat ka poora ullanghan kiya."

(And did you think about what would have happened if Paramesh hadn't come to your rescue? Look at your ignorance... You ran away from the man I sent to protect you. You completely disregarded my words.)

I looked away this time. When I ran away from that man, I never foresaw that something like this would happen.

"Ek baar meri baat maan kar uske saath ruk jaati, toh aakhir kya bigad jaata? Main yeh sab tumhe baandhne ya tum par rok lagane ke liye nahi kar raha hoon... mujhe ismein koi sukh nahi milta. Main sirf tumhari hifazat karne ki koshish kar raha hoon... lekin tum ho ki baar-baar laparwahi se pesh aati ho."

(What would have happened if you listened to me for once? I haven't made these rules because it gives me joy to restrict you like this. I only want to protect you... But each time you reply with arrogance.)

He glared at me, "Agar koi aur hota... Toh uski haddiya tod deta. Magar tum-" he squeezed my face, "Khushnaseeb samjho khud ko... ki maine tumse shaadi ki. Koi aur hota toh ab tak zinda bhi nahi hoti."

(If it had been someone else... They'd have broken your bones. Consider yourself lucky that you married me. If it had been someone else, maybe you wouldn't be alive.)

Tears brimmed in my eyes again. He always said something horrible at the end of something nice. Why did he love making me cry so much?

Bhairav Ji hugged me this time and kissed my head over and over again, "Tumhe kya lagta hai? Agar Baldev ne tumhare sar ka ek baal bhi chhoo liya hota... toh subah hone se pehle hi uski laash uthaayi jaati."

(What do you think? If Baldev had touched a hair on your head... I'd make sure to make his funeral happen by morning.)

I buried my face in his chest. Bhairav Ji cradled me on his lap, and it felt safe to be in his arms like this, despite the cruel things he said sometimes.

"Ab... Ab aap kya karenge...?"

(What... What are you going to do now...?)

He sighed, "Gulzar ke aadmiyon ne shaam tak kuch kiya nahi... Kal subah hi pata chalega ki agar tumne jang shuru ki hai ki nahi."

(Gulzar's men haven't done anything yet... Only tomorrow morning we'll know if you've started a war or not.)

"J-jang...?" I stared at him wide-eyed.

(W-war...?)

"Haan. Kuch dino ke liye ghar se bahar mat niklo. Agar kai jaana hai toh mai leke jaunga. Samjhi?"

(Yes. Don't go outside for a few days. If you need something, I'll get it for you, okay?)

I nodded quietly. A part of me couldn't believe that things had gotten so much worse because of one careless choice I had made.

We could hear the children's restless voices from the cradle, and I took them in my arms to feed them. Bhairav Ji lay back down on the bed and closed his eyes. Even though he appeared calm on the outside, I had a feeling he was worried about tomorrow morning.