Over countless weeks, Bhairav Ji had been working late into the night, serving people tirelessly. There were still around nine months left until the elections. I couldn't understand why he was struggling so much from the very start. But either way, I had accepted that I'd stand by him through all his decisions. Reckless or not.

I also didn't believe he meant it when he said he'd make me teach at the school he was building. Both Maa and Dadi made it clear that, as the Thakurain, it would be scandalous if I agreed to such a position.

"Bhairav bas aise hi keh raha tha... Woh chunaav aur gaon ke chakkar mei sab kuch bhool jayega. Aur bache bahut chote hai... Naukri karogi toh unhe kaise sambhalogi?" Maa expressed her concern.

(Bhairav was only joking... He'll get so caught up in the election and village affairs that he'll forget everything. Besides, the children are very young... If you start working, how will you take care of them?)

"Sabke ankho mei maryada yeh hai ki tum yahi raho, Sanjana. Mera Bhairav chunav zaroor jitega. Ab se hi woh kaam mei itna vyast hai... Chunaav ke baad tumhe uski bhi dekhbaal karni hogi na? Phir aur bache ho toh?"

(It is expected of you to remain here, Sanjana. Bhairav will certainly win the election. He is already deeply busy with his work... After the elections, you will have to take care of him too, won't you? And what if you have more children?)

I had been quiet as I nodded and agreed to everything the elders said. They weren't wrong. How would I possibly juggle working as a teacher along with taking care of the children and my husband?

The people of the village would say I was trying to be too modern. Women went to work only when they lacked the means to support their homes. But in my case, the people would label me greedy or an ignorant homemaker. I didn't want to catch any such rumours. Thus, I stayed quiet whenever Bhairav Ji brought up the ongoing construction of the school.

"Ek din daftar aa jao," he told me while eating dinner. I was fanning him gently, barely paying attention to his words. "Vidyalay paas hi ban rahi hai. Tumhe dikhana chahta hu," he said again, focused on eating like a starved animal.

(Come to the office one day. The school is being built nearby. I'd like to show it to you.)

"Dheere se khaiye..." I sighed and pushed the glass of water towards him. Meanwhile, I didn't notice when my eight-month-old crawled all the way from near the couch where he was playing with Janaki and Saarang, to his father.

(Eat slowly...)

Bhairav Ji scooped him up with one arm and placed him on his lap.

"Mai sambhalthi hu," I interjected, taking the baby from his arms. But as soon as Raghav left his Father's lap, he began crying. I had to keep him back.

(I'll handle him.)

Raghav tried to reach for the food with both hands, but Bhairav Ji held them down, "Baith rahe ho toh chup chap baitho." He told our son in a warning tone.

(If you're going to sit here, sit quietly.)

I watched Raghav's lips quiver again. Just as he opened his mouth to scream and cry, Bhairav Ji pushed a little bit of crushed rice into his mouth. He immediately went quiet and kept nibbling at his Father's thumb.

"Doodh khila the waqt bhi kaattha rehta hai..." I sighed.

(He keeps biting when I feed him as well...)

Bhairav Ji squeezed our son, "Badmash. Maa ko kaatne ki himmat? Tum doodh piyo ya na piyo, mujhe tumhari Maa sahi salamath chahiye, samjhe?"

(You little rascal. How dare you hurt your mother? Whether you drink your milk or not, I want your mother safe and unharmed, understood?)

I was blushing as Raghav blinked at his father.

"Dekh kya raha hai?"

(What are you looking at?)

"Baba!" He said aloud, shocking all of us. It was the second word he had learnt to speak after Ma. I was so proud of my baby.

"Raghu, ek aur baar bolke dikhao!" I gathered him in my arms and kissed his face, "Baba bolke dikhao."

(Raghu, say it once more! Say Baba again!)

Raghav squealed and giggled. But at the very moment, his sister began crying loudly while looking at me. My husband sighed, "Dono ko ek saath khelne do."

(Let them both play together.)

Whenever I showered one of them with a little bit of attention, the other would immediately get jealous. They were already so chaotic, I wondered how it would be after they grew up. Sighing, I placed Raghu beside his sister. To my horror, she grabbed a lock of his hair and pushed him back. Raghu screamed in agony and tried to claw at his sister's face. Both of them were crying the entire time while Saarang laughed at their antics.

"Chhodo!" I pulled Janaki's hand away and pushed them both to each side. My ears were hurting because of their loud, shrill cries.

(Let him go!)

Dadi shouted something from her room, scolding me for not keeping the children quiet. It was a struggle to lift them both into my arms, but I managed somehow.

"Bahut der ho rahi hai. Kamre mei jaate hai," I sighed.

(It's getting really late. Let's go to the bedroom.)

"Sanjana."

My husband's sharp voice cut through the air. I froze. Even the children quietened down a little.

What had I done now?

"Naukraniyo ko ghar mei kyu rakha hai?! Un par itna paisa kyu barbaad kar raha hu agar biwi se hi saare kaam karwane hai toh!"

(Why do we have maids in the house? Why am I spending so much money on them when my wife is doing all the work!)

I gulped, not knowing what to say. The entire haveli would have heard his outburst. I heard Aradhya talk to the maids in the kitchen, asking them to help me. Two of them came to my side immediately and took the children. I sighed and followed them upstairs.

The maids constantly apologised as I sat in bed to feed the children. I asked them to be quiet. Dealing with my husband's constant mood swings was tiring enough. I wondered how he'd behave when he came upstairs to sleep.

Raghav kept crying as I fed his sister. But after a point, it felt like white noise. Janaki was calm as I cradled her in my arms and kissed her forehead. Maybe my baby was just hungry. The maids carried her around in the room afterwards to make her burp while Raghav snuggled in my arms next. He always smiled with his eyes closed as I fed him. It was adorable.

Soon, the door was pushed open, and my husband came in. I covered myself a little better as he left the door ajar and sat at the table, gesturing to the maid to hand him his daughter.

Bhairav Ji smiled while taking Janu in his arms. She tugged at her Father's shirt and made all sorts of baby sounds. He hummed at everything she said. My daughter had a way of pressing her hands to his face, grabbing his attention entirely, whenever she talked in baby gibberish. In moments like these, I realised that I hadn't seen a man more patient and as calm as him.

"Agar use doodh de chuki ho toh dono ko dusre kamre mei le jao."

(If you're done feeding him, take them to the other room.)

I blinked at him, my eyes wide, "Kya matlab hai aapka?"

(What do you mean?)

"Aaj raat bache yaha nahi soenge. God bharai ke din us dusre kamre mei sab kuch taiyar rakha tha na... Wahi sone do."

(The kids won't sleep here tonight. On the day of your baby shower, everything was kept ready in the nursery right... Let them seep there.)

I gave him a confused smile, "Aap mazaak kar rahe hai? Bacho ko akele sone denge?"

(You're kidding, right? You want the kids to sleep alone?)

"Akele kaun sone dega? Tumhari din raat seva ke liye kitne naukraniya rakhi hai. Unki zimmedari hai."

(Nobody's letting them sleep alone. It's the maids' responsibility to handle them.)

I gulped, "Par..."

(But...)

Bhairav Ji directed his glare at me, "Dohrana padega, Sanjana?"

(Do I have to repeat myself, Sanjana?)

The maid turned to me with her head lowered, "Bacho ko hum sambhalenge, Malkin. Aap aaram kijiye."

(We'll take care of the children, Malkin. You can relax.)

I was compelled to give in. The maids took both Janu and Raghu away from me and shut the door. Bhairav Ji got up to lock it while unbuttoning his shirt.

"Idhar aao."

(Come here.)

He commanded while taking something out of his pocket and placing it on the table. I fixed my choli before gathering enough courage to walk over to him.

"Tumhare liye laaya hu. Har roz khaana hai, samjhi?"

(I got this for you. Eat it every day, okay?)

I looked at what was in the packet but immediately dropped it on the table, my face reddening, "Yeh kya hai?!"

(What is this?!)

"Davai."

(Medicine.)

Contraceptive pills, to be specific. They were the same medicines I had bought for  Payal. Now my own husband was giving them to me. "Aap pagal ho gaye ho kya?" I muttered.

(Have you gone mad?)

Bhairav Ji glared at me. He raised his hand this time, and I flinched. The man was ruthless when he smacked the back of my head. I groaned in pain while rubbing the spot.

"Har roz khaana hai. Samjhi ki nahi?"

(You need to eat this daily. Understood or not?)

There were tears in my eyes, "H-haan..."

(O-okay...)

Bhairav Ji ignored my tears and went to shower. Why was he behaving like this? Did he not like the kids? What was wrong?

It only made me cry even more. I couldn't even go to the children, as he had locked me in the room with him. The pillow was my sole comfort as I hugged it and cried. When Bhairav Ji came outside, I kept my eyes closed and pretended to sleep.

I felt the bed sink as he sat beside me. The man was smart enough to brush his hand against my damp cheek first.

"Rona baad mein karo. Davai kha li ki nahi?"

(You can cry later. Did you eat the medicine or not?)

His tone was a little softer as he caressed my hair. It almost made me believe that he cared. I turned to glare at him, tears still streaming down my face as I broke down entirely.

"Aapko bache pasand nahi hai...? A-aap... A-aap aisa... Kyu kar rahe ho?"

(Do you not like the children...? Wh-why... Why are you doing this?)

Bhairav Ji stared at me like I had lost my mind. The man pressed the bridge of his nose and muttered God give me patience thrice before finally looking at me again.

"Aap aur bache nahi chahte?"

(You don't want more kids?)

"Do shaitaan kaafi nahi hai?"

(Aren't two devils enough?)

I pouted at him. My babies were so adorable. The moment I had held them in my arms for the first time, I knew I wanted more adorable little angels.

Bhairav Ji sighed, "Do saal baad mai yahi savaal puchunga. Tab aur bacho ke baare mei sochte hai. Utho aur jaake davai kha lo."

(I'll ask you the same question after two years. We'll think about more kids then. Get up and eat the medicine now.)

He ignored all my protests. I wondered why he even got involved in things like this. Why did he want to control every inch of my life? He had compelled me to do so many things that I didn't want to.

"Tum so jao. Mujhe kaam hai," he said as he sat down at his desk. If he was just going to work again tonight, then why the hell did he make me eat the pills?

(You can go to bed. I have work.)

I watched my husband work for a couple of minutes until I couldn't bear it anymore. He didn't even turn when I stood right behind him. "Suniye..." I squeezed his shoulders.

(Listen...)

Bhairav Ji didn't react. He kept scribbling something on paper. I used the opportunity to slide my hands lower and unbutton his shirt one by one.

"Aapko garmi nahi lag rahi?"

(Do you not feel hot?)

"Utni bhi nahi lag rahi," he replied nonchalantly. How dense could a man be?

(Not really.)

I hugged him tight from behind and pressed my cheek to his, "Sach kahu toh kitne dino baad kamre mei itna sukoon mil raha hai." I smiled and nuzzled my face against him.

(If I'm being honest, it's been so long since the room felt so peaceful.)

"Sukoon?" He mumbled, "Mujhe toh nahi mil raha."

(Peaceful? Not for me though.)

I froze. My last thread of patience snapped as I walked back to the bed.

"Meri galti hai. Sab kuch meri galti hai. Maine aapse Sarpanch banne ko boli thi... Itni badi galti maine kabhi nahi ki hai. Ah-!"

(It's my fault. Everything is my fault. I was the one who asked you to be the Sarpanch... I've never made such a big blunder in my life. Ah-!)

I hadn't noticed when he left his table. Bhairav Ji grabbed my arm and spun me around to face him, "Kyu shaam se meri dimaag kha rahi hai?" He sighed.

(Why are you pissing me off since I came home?)

There were tears in my eyes, "Aap nahi samjhenge! Aap kuch nahi samajhte... Aapko toh sirf kaam ki fikr rehti hai. Agar kaam karna tha toh mujhe is kamre mei kyu rakha? Mai bachho ke saath rehti. Kyu mujhe aise pinjre mei daal rahe ho?"

(You won't understand! You never understand anything... All you care about is your work. If you wanted to work so much, then why am I still in this room? I could have been with my children. Why do you keep me caged like this always?)

He squinted his eyes a little, "Itna gussa kaha se aa raha hai...? Kaam ke baad tumhare paas hi toh aata hu-"

(Where's all this frustration coming from...? After I'm done with come, I'll come to you-)

"Mat aaiye!" I snapped, "Kaash ki aap Sarpanch kabhi nahi banenge!"

(Don't come! I hope you never become the Sarpanch.)

My husband's brows raised just a little in amusement. A few tears rolled down my face as I realised what I had said.

Had I crossed the line again?

Would he hit me?

My husband stared at me quietly. I was trembling a little as I stared down.

"M-mai... Maine woh... M-maaf kijiye..."

(I- I didn't... I'm sorry...)

He squeezed my chin and made me look at him, "Maine kaha hai na? Agar tum mein kuch kehne ki himmat hai, toh baad mein uske anjaam ka saamna karne ki himmat bhi honi chahiye."

(Haven't I warned you before? If you have the guts to say something, you need to be brave enough to face the consequences as well.)

I gulped at his words.

His arm snaked around my waist, and my breath hitched when he pulled me towards him with one sharp tug. Our faces were inches apart, and my eyes were wide and fearful. What was he doing?

"Meri gilehri kya chahti hai? Bina saza ke kamre se bahar nikalu ya phir... Yahi bistar par saza du?" There was a devilish glint in his eyes as he smiled at me.

(What does my little squirrel want? Should I kick you out of the room without punishing you... Or shall I punish you on the bed?)

"Ji mai-"

(Ji, I'm-)

A sharp slap. Right on my ass. It made me hiss as I leaned into him.

"Hm? Jaldi bolo," he sounded ignorant and impatient.

(Hm? Answer quickly.)

"Mujhe b-b-"

(I-)

"Bahar nikalu? Theek hai." He dragged me towards the door, and I tried pulling back, crying and begging him, "Nahi-! Bistar par... Bistar par..." My face reddened.

(You want to be kicked out? Alright.)

(No-! On the bed... the bed...)

Bhairav Ji tilted his head, "Oh?" He locked our bedroom door and pushed me away from him.

"Meri rani ko itni garmi lag rahi hai na? Chalo, kapde utarke dikhao."

(My queen is feeling so hot, right? Come on, strip for me.)