It was another long, normal day at school with the children. I read aloud a mathematical problem on mensuration involving unit conversion. Saarang scratched his head, and even the other kids were invested entirely in solving it.

"Masterni Ji, yaha par do toh do sau ban jaega na? Aapke sikhaye hue sutra ke mutabik," One of the boys spoke up.

(Masterni Ji, here the two will become two hundred, right? As per the formula you taught us.)

I nodded and knelt beside him to guide him through the rest of the question, "Haan, aise hi, aur yaha par bhi-"

(Yes, just like that, and here as well-)

There was a loud bang on the door, making everyone flinch. My eyes widened when I saw Baldev and a few of his men.

"Aaj ke liye padhai ka samay khatam ho gaya," he grinned, "Yeh zameen panchayat ki hai aur yaha bina ijaazat ke vidyalay bani gayi hai. Dastavez dikhao."

(Study time is up for today. This land belongs to the panchayat, and this school was built here without permission. Show me the papers.)

I froze at his accusation. The papers were with Keshav. I didn't know anything about the documentation except that the school was in my name.

"Aise zabardasti kaise kar sakte ho?" I gritted my teeth, "Dastavez daftar par hai, Keshav ke paas."

(How can you force us like this? The documents are at the office with Keshav.)

Baldev ignored me and walked into the classroom, intimidating the kids, "Shaam ko Sarpanch Ji ke saamne dastavez pesh karni hogi, warna kal se vidyalay band ho jayega. Aur hume bahut se shikayate bhi mili hai... Yaha ke bacho ke baare mei, aur..." He moved closer towards me, "Adhyapika Ji ke baare mei."

(In the evening, you'll have to submit the documents in front of Sarpanch Ji. Otherwise, the school will be closed from tomorrow. We've also received many complaints about the children here... And about the teacher.)

Why was he hellbent on torturing me like this? Didn't they get what they wanted already? Bhairav Ji was dead. The Thakur Haveli didn't hold as much power as before. My kids were growing up without a father.

Why did they want to take more from me?

"Baldev Ji..." I whispered, trying to put aside my pride, "Aapse haath jodthi hu. Vidyalay ko nuksaan mat pahunchaiye... Begunha bachhe padte hai yaha..."

(Baldev Ji... I'm begging you. Please don't do anything to the school... Innocent children are studying here...)

"Usse mera koi lena dena nahi hai," he grinned before leaning dangerously close to my ear, "Ek hafte tak samay di thi. Par gaonwale toh shayad tumhe Keshav se hi shaadi karvayenge... Meri beizzati karne ki itni himmat? Aurat hokar sar pe chad rahi hai?"

(None of that matters to me. I had given you one week's time, but I think the villagers will get you married to Keshav... How dare you humiliate me like this? You're a woman, and yet you think you can get away with this?)

With that, he walked away. There was an unsettling fear in my heart. I told Maa and Keshav everything that had happened after I got home. We knew that Baldev was making false accusations, so Keshav prepared all the documents necessary.

But a part of me was convinced that he wouldn't leave me alone until he had ruined me. No matter what happened, I couldn't let them close the school. It was like my husband's baby. I couldn't kill it.

In the evening, I remained indoors with the kids. Keshav had men stationed around the haveli, in case Baldev decided to ambush us. I was busy feeding Janaki, who sucked away without a care in the world.

At the same time, I heard the roar of an engine outside. My fear only worsened.

"Maa abhi aayi... Yahi raho. Neeche mat aana, theek hai?" I told the kids after fixing my sari.

(Maa will be back now... Stay here. Don't come downstairs, okay?)

"Kaun aaye hai, Didi?" Saarang blinked.

(Who is it, Didi?)

"Koi nahi. Bacho ke saath raho, unka dhyan rakhna..."

(Nobody. Stay with the children, keep an eye on them...)

"Theek hai," he sighed.

(Okay.)

As I stood above the stairs, I could hear the commotion downstairs.

"Bulao, bulao apne Thakurain ko. Sarpanch Ji baat karna chahte hai."

(Go on, fetch your Thakurain. Sarpanch Ji wants to talk to her.)

"Use sheher leke jaana chahte ho?" Keshav barked.

(You want to take her to the city?)

"Ji haan... Aur nahi toh kaha?" Baldev scoffed.

(Yes, of course... Where else?)

Maa tried interjecting at that time, "Beta, suno... Vidhwa aurat hai, aur bacho ki Maa bhi... Aise use lekar jaana apshakun maana jaata hai-"

(Son, listen... She's a widow, and a mother of two kids... Taking her away like this is not right-)

"Maa Ji," Baldev turned to her, "Aapka beta toh kabse guzar gaya hai. Aap pehchante nahi hai toh suniye, Baldev hai mera naam... Aapke bahu se baat karni hai Sarpanch Ji ko. Vidyalay uski naam par haina? Jab aapka beta zinda tha toh use sar par chadakar rakha tha. Par ab Gulzar Sultan ka hukum maanna hoga. Kisi ki man marzi yaha nahi chalegi. Jaldi bulaiye use, hume aur bhi kaam hai."

(Maa Ji, your son passed away long back. If you don't know me, let me tell you. My name is Baldev... The Sarpanch Ji wants to talk to your daughter-in-law. The school is under her name, right? Your son used to spoil her so much. But now Gulzar Sultan's word is law. The villagers can't do as they please. Call her quickly, we've got more things to do. )

Keshav was losing his temper, "Kis baat keliye lekar jaa rahe ho use? Dastavez toh maine dikha di hai!"

(Why do you want to take her? I've already shown you all the documents!)

"Ab bhi bacha hai tu," Baldev snapped, "Sirf dastavez dikhane se kya hoga? Adhyapika ke naam par itne shikayate mili hai hume! Sarpanch Ji in sab ke baare mei puchna chahte hai."

(You're still a little boy. The documents alone are not going to help. We've received so many complaints because of the teacher! Sarpanch Ji wants to question her regarding these things.)

He smiled dangerously next, "Warna yaad rakho, aapka Bhairav Chaudhary Memorial Vidyalay kabhi nahi chalne diya jaega."

(Otherwise, mark my words, we'll never allow the school to function again.)

I descended the stairs at that time, and all eyes slowly turned to me. I hated how Baldev was smiling.

"Manzoor hai... Sarpanch Ji se jaakar baat karne ke liye taiyar hu."

(Alright... I'm ready to talk to the Sarpanch.)

"Pagal ho gayi ho?!" Keshav snapped and grabbed my hand, "Tum kahi nahi jaa rahi. Mai jaakar baat karunga unse-"

(Have you gone mad?! You're not going anywhere. I'll go talk to him-)

Baldev cleared his throat, "Adhyapika ke naam par shikayat hai. Aapka vidyalay se kya lena dena hai, Devar Ji?" He eyed the way Keshav held my hand. I pulled away immediately.

(The complaints have been caused by the teacher. How are you even related to the school, Devar Ji?)

"Phir saath mei chalenge. Hum apne gaadi mei aayenge-"

(Then let's go together. We'll come in our vehicle-)

"Nahi," Baldev smiled, "Akele aana padega." His cruel eyes were fixed on me and Maa gasped at this, "Itni raat ko ise akele kaise bheju? A-aap kya keh rahe hai..."

(No. You'll have to come alone.)

(How can we send her alone at this time of night? Wh-what are you saying...)

"Phaisla aapka hai. Mai toh sirf Sarpanch Ji ka doot hu."

(The choice is yours. I'm only Sarpanch Ji's messenger.)

What?

Did he think I was a fool?

I knew what men like him were capable of. What if... What if I were killed? Or raped?

There was no telling what he would do to me if I went alone. If Bhairav Ji were alive, even he wouldn't allow something so absurd as this. I loved him, and I loved the school... But there would definitely be some other way.

Definitely.

Baldev waited for me to respond, but I said nothing. Wasn't the answer obvious?

He smiled then, making me even more terrified, "Aapse akele baat karne ki ijaazat chahta hu. Shayad aapka man badal jaaye?"

(I'd like to talk to you alone. What if you change your mind?)

Keshav was about to snap that it wasn't possible, but I allowed it. Maybe this time, I could reject him with closure. We stepped away to a corner of the room to talk, and the very first thing that he said gave me chills.

"Thakurain Ji, aapne hum par pehle haath uthayi thi... Aapko yaad hai? Aur yeh jang wahi shuru hua tha. Humne anaaj ghar jala diye... Aapke pati ke theen chaar kutto ko maar diye... Aur aakhir mein, us besahare Thakur ko bhi gaadi ke saath humne jala diya..." He smirked.

(Thakurain Ji, you were the one who slapped me first... Do you remember? And this war started at that time. We burnt the granary... We killed a few of your husband's dogs... And in the end, we burnt the helpless Thakur...)

I froze entirely. My eyes went wide, and I couldn't even breathe anymore.

Bhairav Ji... Was he killed by them?

"Naman ki mauth sirf ek parda tha, asliyat chupane ke liye... Aur agar aap police ke paas jaane ki umeed rakhte hai toh yaad dilana chahta hu, police Sarpanch Ji ki mutthi mei hai. Tum humara kuch nahi bigaad sakti ho. Aur upar do bache hai na tumhare aur us kamine ke? Baat nahi maani toh unhe bhi Baap ki maut dunga."

(Naman's death was only a cover to hide the truth... And if you're thinking of going to the police, remember that the police are under Sarpanch Ji's control. You can't do shit to us. And there are two kids upstairs right? Your and that bastard's? If you don't listen to us then we'll give them the same death as their father.)

I opened my mouth to say something, anything, but there were tears in my eyes, and it felt like his words were choking me to death.

On the day of Bhairav Ji's funeral, I couldn't even see his covered face. The bomb explosion had disfigured him entirely. We had made love just the previous night, and I remembered him saying my hair had gotten a lot longer. He said that it looked pretty and that he'd want Janaki to have the same long hair as mine.

All of those moments... All those conversations... I'd never get to relive it again.

Because of the monster standing before me.

He had snatched it all away from me.

Every day when I bathed alone, I found myself staring at the tattoo of my husband's name on my skin, and I wished desperately for him to appear in my dreams at least. It had never happened.

My eyes lowered automatically, and my voice cracked as I spoke, "Agar koi bhagwan hai, toh main dua karta hoon ki woh tumhe aisi narak ki aag mein jalaaye jahan se kabhi chutkaara na mile."

(If there is a God, I pray that he condemns you to a hell from which there is no escape.)

Baldev chuckled, "Narak ka raaja hu. Jaldi chalo. Sarpanch Ji ko intezar karna pasand nahi hai."

(I rule hell. Come quickly. Sarpanch Ji doesn't like to wait.)

When we returned, I stated my decision quietly, "Mai jaane ke liye taiyar hoon... Aap... Bacho se kuch mat kahiye."

(I'm ready to go... Just... Don't say anything to the kids.)

Keshav gulped. His and Maa's eyes were visibly tense as they tried to talk me out of it. But I couldn't hear anything at all. My children were all I cared about.

When I went upstairs to kiss them goodbye, I found all three on the floor, playing with toys and arguing over something trivial.

"Apne Mamu ko tang mat karna," I kissed both Janaki and Raghav's faces countless times until they tried to push me away to continue arguing about the toys.

(Don't trouble your Mamu.)

"Aap kaha jaa rahe hai, Didi? Yeh mujhe khelne nahi de raha!" He complained about Raghu.

(Where are you going, Didi? He's not letting me play!)

I sighed, "Kuch der baad laut aunga. Tumse chota hai, kabhi kabhi use jeetne do."

(I'll be back after a while. He's smaller than you, let him win sometimes.)

"Nahi dunga," Saarang glared.

(I won't.)

"Acha theek hai, bas jagda mat karo," I smiled and left them. In reality, I was holding back my tears as I went downstairs.

(Okay, fine. Just don't argue.)

Keshav tried to stop me again, and this time, I had to push his hand away. The children's lives depended on this. Couldn't he see that?

"Chale, Thakurain Ji?" Baldev smiled at me.

(Shall we, Thakurain Ji?)