It was late at night as I fed more wooden logs to the fireplace. The children sat beside the hearth as well, warming themselves, as I had just given them a bath in cold water.

"Didi mujhe bhi karni hai..." Saarang crawled towards me, and I let him drop a log of wood in the fire. His eyes sparkled like the timber, making me chuckle.

(Didi, even I want to do it...)

"Sundar aag..." My daughter whispered, and I lifted her into my lap, "Mm... Bahut sundar hai. Haath aise aise karo..." I rubbed her palms together before pressing them to her cheeks.

(Pretty fire...)

(Mm... Very pretty... Rub your hands like this.)

"Garam mehsoos ho rahi hai na beta?"

(It feels warm right, dear?)

"Haan!" She kicked her feet excitedly as though she had made a striking discovery. Raghu was also fascinated by this, and he began rubbing his palms as fast as he could. "Maa garam hai!" His eyes widened in surprise as he squeezed his cheeks. I laughed at their antics.

(Yes!)

(It's warm, Maa!)

A while later, as I tried getting up from the floor, I felt lightheaded. My hand immediately clutched a wooden pillar for support.

"Andar jaakar let jao, Sanjana..." Bhairav Ji mumbled, "Sardi ke karan kamzor ho gayi hogi." He was enjoying himself as he sat lazily in an armchair while smoking his newly set-up hookah. A part of me was convinced that my husband couldn't forget the lifestyle of Abdul Majid.

(Go lie down inside, Sanjana... You must be feeling weak because of the cold.)

But I felt like something was wrong. Last night had been cooler than today; then how could I feel uneasy because of it?

Wait...

"A-aaj kaunsi thareekh hai?"

(Wh-what's the date?)

"Theen aprel," my husband replied nonchalantly.

(3rd April.)

Oh no.

If I remembered correctly, I was supposed to get my period three weeks back. Could it be...?

"Ek glass daru lao," my husband told me, completely unaware of the dilemma I was in. I'd have to tell him first this time. Bhairav Ji leaned back in his chair as I gave him the glass. His eyes were closed as he inhaled the smoke.

(Bring me a glass of whisky.)

"Mujhe aapse ek baat kehni hai..."

(I need to talk to you...)

My husband opened his eyes. He first glanced at Maa's door to make sure she wasn't around, then he glanced at the kids. "Aag se door raho, Janaki," he warned our little girl, "Upar chath se jaakar lakdiya neeche lekar aao. Jaldi karo."

(Stay away from the fire, Janaki. Go upstairs and get more firewood. Hurry up.)

Saarang was very hesitant, but he eventually took the kids and went up to the terrace.

"Ah-!"

Bhairav Ji pulled me onto his lap. I couldn't yell or fight because his hand was pressed to my mouth.

"Phir kamre mein chalte hai... Bahut bhooka hu..." He rasped. I shivered in his hold. When he slid his hand under my pallu, I squirmed so much. Was sex the only thing he thought about?! That too in the open like this... What if someone were to see us?

(Then let's go to our room... I'm really hungry...)

"Meri baat suniye!" I grabbed his hand before he could squeeze my breasts. Bhairav Ji looked annoyed as he stared at me quietly.

(Listen to me first!)

"Kya?"

(What?)

"Zaroori baat hai..." I mumbled, my face turning red. Bhairav Ji relaxed his hold around me as he sipped the drink.

(It's important...)

"Theen hafte pehle mahina chalu hona chahiye tha... Par... Mujhe shak hai ki-"

(I should have gotten my period three weeks ago... But... I think-)

He spat everything back in the glass and stared at me in disbelief, "Kya kehna chah rahi ho?! Tum davai nahi khaa rahi?"

(What the hell are you saying?! Are you not eating the pills?)

I glared at him, "Konsi davai? Do saal purani davai khaani chahiye mujhe?"

(What pills? Do you want me to eat pills that are two years old?)

My husband was quiet for a while. I hugged him and snuggled against his neck.

"Sanjana... Kya tumhare pet mein sach mein bacha hai?"

(Sanjana... Is there really a baby inside you?)

"Shayad hai," I whispered.

(Maybe.)

My husband let out a frustrated sigh, "Tum sabhi kaam khud kar leti ho. Maine socha davai bhi khud jaakar khareed logi! Tumne mujhe yaad bhi nahi dilaya... Mai kaam mei itna vyasth tha. Tumne yaad kyun nahi dilaya?"

(You usually do everything by yourself. I thought you'd get the pills yourself as well! You didn't even remind me... I was so busy with work. Why didn't you remind me?)

My lips twitched. Was it my fault now? We did it almost every day because his lust was insatiable. If anything, he was the only one responsible for this mess.

"Maa jaanti hai...?" He asked softly.

(Does Maa know...?)

I shook my head and squeezed his shoulder tighter. What would people think of us now? It hadn't even been two proper months since my husband came back to life.

And I was already pregnant...

How ridiculous and shameless would it look?

Bhairav Ji sighed and ran a hand through his hair, "Agar phir se judwa bache ho toh? Ya theen bache?"

(What if we have twins again? Or triplets this time?)

My eyes widened, and I squeezed his collar, "Aap mujhe maarna chahte hain kya! Pagal ho gaye ho aap!"

(Do you want to kill me! You've gone crazy!)

He caressed my stomach, but I believed it was just another excuse to touch me again. "Ghar pahunchte hi ab aspatal jaana padega," he mumbled.

(We'll have to go to the hospital after reaching home.)

"Phirse aspataal... Par... Is baar ghar mein reh lete hai-"

(Again hospital... But... At least this time let's stay at home-)

"Maar khaana chahti hai kya?" He snapped at me, "Pata hai judwa bacho ko janam dena kitna khatarnaak hai? Tum ab bhi zinda ho kyunki maine tumhe aspatal le gaya. Dimaag naam ki cheez bhi hai tumhare paas?"

(Do you want me to smack you? Do you know how dangerous it is to give birth to twins? You're still alive because I took you to the hospital. Don't you have a brain?)

His words were infuriating me so much, but I didn't say anything. Bhairav Ji forced me off his lap at that time, "Jaake Maa se khabar batakar aao."

(Go tell the news to Maa.)

"Mai akele jau?!"

(I should go alone?!)

He resumed smoking his hookah. "Auraton ki maamle mein main kya keh sakta hoon?" My husband shrugged.

(What do you want me to say in the matters of women?)

I wanted to rip his nonchalant face into shreds. He was the reason we were in this situation in the first place!

"Kaash aapse shaadi nahi ki hoti..."

(Wish I hadn't married you...)

Bhairav Ji didn't even look at me as he mumbled, "Haan... Mujhe bhi kisi aur se shaadi karni thi. Kam se kam uske paas dimag toh hota."

(Yeah... Wish I had married someone else as well. At least she'd have a brain.)

I clenched my fists. Now I really wished I hadn't met his cocky ass.

Maa was busy folding her clothes when I went to her room and sat beside her on the bed. We were supposed to leave in two days. "Kapde modne mein meri madad karna, beta," she told me, and I nodded, "Ji Maa."

(Help me fold these clothes, beta.)

I didn't know how to start the conversation. God, I was so embarrassed. How would she react? I knew she'd be happy but... I still felt uneasy.

"Yeh sari dekho," she pressed a beautiful blue one against my shoulder, "Tumhe bahut jachegi. Kal yeh pehen lena-"

(Look at this sari... It will suit you really well. Wear it tomorrow-)

"Maa Ji, mujhe aapse kuch kehni hai..."

(Maa Ji, I need to tell you something...)

She frowned, "Kya baat hai?"

(What's wrong?)

"Um... Woh... Darasal..."

(Um... I... Actually...)

"Kya hua?" Her voice was softer, concerned.

(What happened?)

"Mera mahina teen hafton se ruka hua hai," I stared down while squeezing my sari. Maa was surprisingly quiet, and when I looked at her face, it seemed fairly neutral.

(I haven't gotten my period in three weeks.)

"Achi baat hai. Bhairav jaanta hai?"

(That's good news. Does Bhairav know?)

"J-Ji..."

(Y-yes...)

"Mubarak ho bahu," she smiled softly.

(Congratulations bahu.)

But wait... Was she sure that I was pregnant? How was she sure? I hadn't even told her anything more.

"Un kapdon ko bhi mod lena," she pointed at a few saris on the side. I quietly did as she told me, but the question was still bugging me.

(Fold those as well.)

"Aapko um... Yakeen hai ki mai... Pet se hu?"

(Um... Are you sure that... I'm pregnant?)

"Kyu nahi hogi?" She replied, more focused on folding the saris, "Bhairav ne wapas aakar tumhe kabhi akele choda hai?"

(Why wouldn't you be? Has Bhairav ever left you alone after coming back?)

My mind went blank. I opened my mouth to say something, but closed it immediately. What was I going to say anyway? Hadn't I embarrassed myself enough already?

"M-mujhe... Maaf kijiye..."

(I- I'm... Sorry...)

"Maafi kyun maang rahi ho, beta?" She was puzzled, "Kitni achi baat hai ki itne saalo ke baad bhi tum dono ke beech sab kuch acha chal raha hai. Bhairav tumhare saath bahut khush hai. Ek dusre ko humesha khush rakhna."

(Why are you apologising, child? It's a lovely thing that you and Bhairav are still so fond of each other. He's really happy with you. Keep each other happy always.)

"Ji..."

(Yes...)

I helped her with the rest of the clothes and finally excused myself back to the bedroom. Maybe it was a good thing, like she said. But I wondered how I'd take care of another baby.